Follow-Up Of Holiday Lights, Day Two: Thank The Great Whatever, Too, That I Can Tap The Inner Buddha

Prettier than the photos show.

I am one chord away from being satisfied. I have lights in all windows and the back porch looks like a scene from Close Encounters. I found the sets I needed at Ocean State Job Lot and, because it was a beautiful day, it was great to be outside hanging up the outdoor lights (I even barbecued).

That's the happy note.

The bad note?

What is wrong with people? Holiday shopping is insane. I went to Ocean State to get lights and to return a jacket that didn't fit. When I got in the line, there was a woman with two carts full of merchandise (and I'm not even talking about bulky merchandise, I'm talking about the tiniest things the store sells). She had plastic wrapped forks, stickers, yarn - everything. I asked her, "Are you returning all of these?" She says, "No, I'm buying them." I ask, "Well, why are you in the return aisle?" and she responded, "Oh, I had to return an item and I'm exchanging it for my purchases today."

I looked at her and said, "Really?" 45 minutes went by and the return line began to flow throughout the entire store. This woman questioned every price that the register lady scanned. It seemed pretty evident to me that this woman has some kind of pack-rat issue, as her carts looked like an episode of Hoarders. She spent around $970 on $1 items - it was crazy. And something told me she'd be back tomorrow to return them all and to do the same thing all over again.

Obviously, we who were standing in line were not happy. I was directly behind her and she looked at me and asked, "What's your problem?" I simply responded, "This seems a bit disrespectful, don't you think?" She then went on a tirade of how rude I was.

Whatever. I just kept breathing in and breathing out. I needed to remain calm. I knew I was stopping at Walmart next (and the one in Stratford could easily compete as the most insane aquarium for oddities in the nation). I have to be totally Zen to go in that store.

But it's over. I'm satisfied and now I have no problem sitting in my house in the dark, looking at all the lights in my windows and from the tree.