I'm Laughing - I Am Worth More When I'm Gone Than When I'm Alive, Says the Investment Specialist

Now, the woman who does my taxes is a retired philosopher who never did find work with philosophy. I learned yesterday that my financial consultant is a stand-up comic who went into finance after four years of doing the comedy circuit in L.A. I don't know these trivial facts when I make acquaintance with those I work with - they just sort of leak out as we sit around discussing options in my life, whether with taxes or investments.

It cracks me up.

I set a goal this fall that I would resurrect the investment portfolio I began when I was a teacher in Kentucky. The doctorate procedure didn't allow me to think much about what will happen when I'm older, but with five years on my feet again, I am thinking about the future. I contacted Valic, who handles my small, but somewhat responsible planning, who put me in contact with David, who has been visiting me from time to time to go over what I'll need by the time I'm ready for a nursing home. He has pointed out to me that I will be much more stable economically after I die. I guess that is good to know.

Seriously, though, there's always this buzz about savings and life insurance and what-if paranoia that has kept me curious about what I'm supposed to be doing in case something horrible happens. The house needs to be paid off, I need to make sure I'm not a burden on anyone, and if there's loose change, I should be thinking about a legacy (which, to me, is ownership of my grandmother's ceramic frogs that are anatomically correct - that's about as classy as this guy gets).

But I'm laughing. I love that a comic is offering me financial advice and that, as an undergraduate, he was a theater major. "Well," he admitted to me. "That doesn't pay the bills." He went on to earn an MBA and has been working for Valic ever since.

We are expensive creatures (and no, you can't write off a new dog. I tried. They are a loss with their milk bones, veterinarian needs, destruction, and toys). What I've gained from the conversations through such consultancy is that most people live so that they one day can get out of expensive states like Connecticut and find themselves living in Florida.

The Florida part I like, but I'm not sure anyone in my generation will ever be able to retire. Even so, I'm planning ahead in hopes that someday, perhaps, I actually will.

In the meantime, back to work.