At 19, I didn't have my head around The Great Whatever yet, but in the back of my mind I was always curious as to the purposes and meanings of the world.
While in London, our Binghamton abroad program provided opportunities to get out of the city, where we saw the countryside and got more of the English landscape. One night, a rainy and cold night, we found ourselves at a hostile with our professors drinking bottles of wine and good ol' British ale. For some reason, our crew of about 24 decided to walk down to the Bay of Tintagel after the rain subsided and we played in the wetness of the beach and in the ocean. It was 11 p.m. and we were young, carefree, and absolutely in love with the adventure we were on. I also remember that it was very cold, but all of us were so happy.
I went to London wide-eyed and curious, and very unknowing of the world. I met many spectacular people on that trip and my memories of that time are crisp and alive with me today. I remember on that night, when Gina Amaro announced that she was Diana, Princess of the Sea, and that I was Sea Horse. Why? She said, "You have a nurturing soul, Crandall. It's uncharacteristic of a male creature and that is why I name you Sea Horse." The two of us laughed and I felt a tremendous kinship with her at that moment. "A sea horse will always be with me in the sea," she said. (Ha, she now works for Google, authored Practical Genius, and has moved to the West Coast).
When I was thinking about that memory, I realized we only saw Tintagel at night. We had no idea what the bay looked like during the day. I looked it up last night and found a photo. It sheds light on the darkness of how I remember that evening - it was gray, misty, damp, and dark. I found it mildly comforting to see it illuminated during the day.
Then, I was the age of my niece. I was the age of Chitunga. It was the age I was when I stepped out of childhood and looked at adulthood from a new angle, one that was separate from the love and security of my home in Clay. I realized my journey was a solo-act, launched from the love of family.
I'm thinking a lot about being 19 as I witness the questions and wonders of Chitunga, as he's making sense of his world. I've been reflecting on who I was at his age, and what philosophies I was beginning to live by as I adventured into the world.
I'm a talkative individual, but oddly my memories of this time are of being quiet, receptive, open, and absolutely in awe of the greatness of the world. I see it as a time when I was a sponge for absorbing everything. I'm sure others would say it was typical Crandall and I never sat still or was quiet. I think it would be interesting to see 19-year old Bryan in action. It's amazing to me to think about how much life has occurred since then. And I know I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for that special time in my life.
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